While cleaning up my email folder today, I came across this email that I had sent to myself on the 15th of Jan, 2015. It’s always a bittersweet experience to revisit your notes from yonder years, and to reflect on how far you have travelled since then. I slightly chuckle to myself thinking about what was really bothering me when I wrote this, but trying not to be too self-deprecating.
get a grip on yourself. Things arent working out the way you planned them to, but since when has life really been a basket of roses? You, out of all people, should have realized that. If you want something in life, you need to fight for it. And everything for you has been a struggle, but so far, you eventually do get what you want and whatever is best for you right? Why lose hope and become so helpless at this junction? Everything is not lost, far from it. You know what you really need to do in the next few months. There are loads of amazing opportunities that you need to work on, instead of letting your head get to you. It is tough, it is difficult, and it is a constan,relentless battle. But do not lose yourself in a self wallowing ball of pity and leave all of the hard work that you have done for yourself. Find that spark in yourself again. Make your sadness, your disappointment, your frustation into a form of inspiration to start striving harder for what you really want to achieve. You yourself know what you are capable of, do not let this happen to yourself. And stop falling constantly into that trap of thinking that it is futile, that it is already too late for you to pick up your game. Dont do this to yourself. Things will get better, everything will work out fine, find the faith that you have so dramatically lost over the past few months, and get back to things. Stop overthinking, stop being so hard on yourself. Go to sleep now. Wake up in a few hours time, study for your exams, reclaim that relentless spark back. The unread emails and the evernote notes are waiting for you.